Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Mental Midgets (A Rant)

This is a re-run of an older column of mine ~ but a friend recently had a (uncannily) similar experience, so I re-published this of necessity.

Is it just me, or do humans seem to be developmentally stuck?

At some point, humans, as a species, seem to remain at a mental/emotional state that resides between the ages of 8 - 12 years of age.

As adults we are easily titillated (did you giggle over that?!) by words & functions that make young children titter (and again?!). Words like buggers, boobies, fart, butt (and all their endless variations) often reduce any adult (in the US anyway) to giggles, even tears.

Why is it that we are the only animals to be so caught up with tension regarding basic biology?

This was pointed out to me again when I went to register for a mail box at one of those newly named UPS Stores.

I simply wanted an address for snail mail that I could use for professional correspondence (with regards to my website & writing), yet not have my privacy or safely at risk.

I don't know if any of you have ever done one of these things, but the paperwork is likely less if you apply for a passport to the US from an Arabic country...

Now I can understand the need for 2 forms of ID. But credit cards, social security cards, bank cards etc. do not work. You need to have a photo ID (drivers or other id works, and is 'do-able'), and one of the following: rental contract or home mortgage documents, or other equally sacred documents.

(Now I ask you, who in their right mind carries such items around?)

During the course of my application, I had to fill out my real name & address, and then the company or DBA information, each about 10 times. During this lengthy process, I had to talk with these people and they were often confused as to which went where.

They seemed amazed that I would want such a service. Hello, am I the first rental they have had?! And when I tried to explain that this was for contact purposes, yet to conceal my personal home, they were confused.

So I told them, 'Look, I run a website with adult content, and write about adult subject matter, I don't need to invite trouble.'

This drew nervous laughter, and side-ways glances. I swear to you, the one guy elbowed his female co-worker!

I could have just as easily said 'poop' and the reaction would have been the same...

Now I hope that they had their giggles, and have now moved on. I hope their immature reactions to the matter of sexuality lasts as long as that of a 8 year old, and they forget about me by dinner time.

If not, I have just given my personal information to the some scary folks ~ The very thing I had hoped to avoid with this post office box rental.

If I wrote about spleens, I wouldn't need this extra safety measure. But even if I choose to do so because I live in a large apartment complex where packages can be 'lost' and the mail can overflow when I travel, I don't think spleen-article-authoring would gather such a response.

If I was a proctologist, sure. If I said I was studying nasal membranes & mucosa, and had to explain to their blank stares that I worked with boogers, sure, then they'd laugh.

But then, none of those professionals probably needs to worry about 'fans' arriving unannounced at their homes. (They likely have the opposite situation...)

But since I do care, I was there. Renting a box to save my former 'rental box.' *wink*

And giggle they did. At a paying customer yet.

It isn't easy being an adult webmaster or author... Some days, we are the only 'adults' involved.


Additional Reading/Ranting:

For more on the Pink Ghetto, Chelsea Girl speaks of limp publishers and rubbery dicks.

Even MS Word is sex-negative.

Also, related to all this talk of sex writers and public perceptions is this discussion on authors and pen names.

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Blogger Sara Winters said...

This doesn't surprise me in the least. I've had people tell me to my face that they think I'm a pervert/nympho/think about sex "all the time" after reading a handful of my stories and knowing nothing else about me. Would it surprise them that I'm a prude? LOL Anyway, sorry they were obnoxious, but some people don't realize having class and respect isn't conditional on who you're talking to.

February 28, 2007 3:54 PM  

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